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How to survive the festive season whilst trying to conceive

Updated: Nov 10, 2023

Bonfire night and Halloween are now done for 2022 and therefore I feel I am now officially allowed to mention the C word. No not that one! Christmas. Yes, Christmas. Although if the cap fits…


Now I know it might feel early, but I am acutely aware of what a difficult time of year this can be for the infertility community. I for one found it incredibly difficult.


It was one of the most painful times of the year for me. Despite being a Christmas lover generally it was a really harsh reminder of everything I didn’t have and everything I wanted. How much I Ionged for a baby of my own and how another year of infertility had passed me by and I was still no further forward.


My worst Christmas had to be getting a negative home pregnancy test result the week before Christmas after a failed cycle of IVF. Getting a negative pregnancy test anytime is awful, but to get one at Christmas just felt really cruel.


I felt such a mixture of emotion - grief, jealousy, anger, bitterness, hurt, actual physical pain in my chest, all of which was most definitely heightened by the time of year.


It felt like everywhere I looked there were children - on social media, on adverts, in person at family/friends gatherings and everywhere I went.


I know there are many groups of people that struggle at Christmas, but all I could see were happy families which included children and I have never felt so alone and jealous. I wanted what they had, a baby of my own.


Thankfully it only comes once a year and so if you are struggling remember that Christmas day is technically over and done with in 24 hours. That said, the actual festive season itself can feel like it goes on forever when you are struggling with things like infertility and trying to conceive.


Below are my 7 top tips to survive the festive season:


  1. Treat yourself kindly and with compassion, just like you would a friend, family member or colleague. Do not question your feelings, you feel how you feel and that is OK. Bad feelings do not make you a bad person

  2. Try and plan things in that you love during the time off your have over the Christmas period

  3. Say no to anything that does not serve you - I know this can be difficult, but you must look after yourself first

  4. Don’t pretend things are OK if they are not, confide in those people around you and tell them how they can help

  5. Unsubscribe from emails that are triggering and consider snoozing socials or taking a digital detox break

  6. Prioritise your self care whatever that looks like

  7. Plan ahead now so that you have a plan on how to navigate the festive season ahead of time



I hope these tips are helpful. If you are struggling please know that you are not alone and my inbox is always open if you want to reach out hello@yourivfabroad.co.uk


Love Emma

Emma Haslam, Co-founder Your IVF abroad


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