What Is the Hardest Part of IVF?
- Your IVF abroad
- May 12
- 4 min read
Updated: May 15
IVF is often talked about in terms of science, statistics, and success rates. But beneath the clinical language lies a much more personal truth: IVF is hard — emotionally, physically, financially, and mentally.
Whether you’re just beginning your fertility journey or you’re somewhere in the thick of it, you may be wondering: Is it supposed to feel this heavy?The answer is no — but for many, it does. And you are not alone in feeling that way.
Here are 10 of the hardest parts of IVF that people rarely say out loud — but need to be heard.
1. ❌ Being Told You’re Not “Eligible”
You finally work up the courage to ask for help — only to be told you don’t meet the criteria for NHS treatment.
Maybe it’s your age, your BMI, your partner’s medical history, or how long you’ve been trying. Whatever the reason, being told you’re not eligible after months (or years) of waiting can be crushing.
It feels like hitting a wall you didn’t even know was there.
2. 💸 The Emotional Weight of Cost
Even if you choose to have IVF abroad, it’s still expensive — and for many, the financial pressure is constant.
Paying out of pocket while already carrying the emotional weight of infertility can feel like an impossible ask. It’s not just about affording the treatment — it’s also about the invisible toll that uncertainty and sacrifice take on your wellbeing.
3. 🤯 The Fear of Choosing the “Wrong” Clinic
With so many clinics promising success, how do you pick the right one?
The fear of making the wrong choice — wasting time, money, and hope — adds immense pressure. And if you’re considering treatment abroad, the added logistics of travel, language, and unfamiliar systems can make things feel even more overwhelming.
4. 🏥 The Invasiveness of It All
IVF is deeply personal, and yet the process often feels clinical and exposed.
From internal scans to injections, egg collection, sperm samples, and embryo transfers — your body and your emotions are constantly on display. Even the most compassionate clinics can’t always soften how vulnerable this can feel.
5. 📑 The Admin Overload
Fertility treatment often comes with a tidal wave of medical jargon, forms, schedules, and logistics. It’s like suddenly taking a crash course in a foreign language — and being tested on it under stress.
You’re not just managing your health — you’re managing a full-blown project, and it’s exhausting.
6. 💔 The Impact on Relationships
IVF doesn’t just affect the person undergoing treatment. It touches your partner, your friendships, your family — sometimes even your workplace.
The emotional intensity, timed sex, and constant uncertainty can put strain on even the strongest relationships. And if you’re doing this alone, it can feel incredibly isolating.
7. ⏳ The Loss of Control
One of the hardest realities of IVF? So much of it is out of your hands.
You wait for scans. You wait for results. You wait to find out if your body will respond, if the embryos will survive, if implantation will take. Living scan-to-scan can make you feel like life is on hold — like you’re living in limbo.
8. 🧠 The Mental Load of Uncertainty
Will this cycle work? Should we try again? Can we afford to?
The emotional whiplash of hope, doubt, and fear can be relentless. IVF doesn’t follow a clear narrative — and for many, the mental and emotional load of not knowing becomes its own unique form of stress.
9. 👂 The Social Pressure and Misunderstandings
You’ll hear things like:
“Just relax, it’ll happen.”
“Why don’t you just adopt?”
“My friend got pregnant right after IVF.”
People mean well. But most don’t understand what this process actually feels like. The pressure to keep smiling while fielding painful questions can be incredibly hard.
10. ❓ The No Guarantees
This is the hardest truth of all: IVF is never a guarantee. It’s hope — not certainty.
You can do everything “right,” and it might still not work. That’s a heavy burden to carry — and one that often doesn’t get enough space in the conversation.
💬 You Are Not Alone — And Your Feelings Are Valid
If IVF has stretched you to your limits, please hear this: It’s not because you’re not strong enough. It’s because this is hard. Really hard.
You’re doing your best in an incredibly complex, emotional, and often isolating process.
While you can’t control every outcome, you can:
Choose the right clinic for your needs
Seek out support from people who truly understand
Learn about options abroad if local systems feel limiting
Give yourself compassion instead of judgment
✨ IVF might be one of the hardest things you ever do. But you’re not alone — and you’re stronger than you think.
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